Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Trash and trashy essay

Janie wrote a blog about finding trash on the trails that she and Steve travel along.  Her beautiful depiction of trash and trashers reminded me of an essay I wrote several years ago.  I do have pictures of used "love peelings" but I will not post them.  I will let your imagination picture them.  This essay was actually printed in a newspaper so I hope it is appropriate here.  Enjoy.

Love Peelings

Sometimes we really don’t think of others when we leave things lying around where we shouldn’t; things that may be harmful to others or just scare the crap out of them. One day while motoring across Henrys Lake, my motor cut out and killed. I thought that the engine had blown and I was not a happy fisherman. After getting it started and moving again, it killed again as I put it in gear. A friend was fishing nearby and we checked the prop and found it bound up with mono fishing line. What a mess someone had left to scare the “holy Toledo” out of me.

An acquaintance of mine told me on their way to Island Park “nature” called on one of the family members so they stopped on top of Ashton Hill to get a little relief. They have a couple of young children and let them out to stretch their legs while nature’s call was answered. When it was time to get back into the car the two youngsters showed their parents some “balloons” they couldn’t get to blow up and asked Dad to help!!!

Dad and Mom were shocked to see that the kids had picked up some used “love peelings” thinking they were balloons. Mom had a fit and could be heard in Idaho Falls wailing while Dad immediately relieved the kids of their new found toys. The area was searched and a total of eight used “love peelings” were discovered and disposed of. It appeared that a couple had been using the turn-off on Anderson Mill Road as a passion place. The parents were more than a little concerned about the health of their two children.

What a way for two children to be introduced to those kind of protectors - they will probably have a phobia for many years and may even need counseling before they can discuss such things!! Who knows who or what the peelings were used to protect!!!! I thought about trying to catch the lovers, scare the jeepers out of them and then set them down and tell them what mental anguish they put a set of parents thru’! I decided not as it might cause mental problems for the couple. It is probably a couple of teenagers practicing their sex education knowledge!

Two lessons should be learned from this experience: first - if your passion produces peelings, dispose of them correctly - don’t leave them laying around to cause a mother to have a mental breakdown; secondly - check the areas your small children will be using, destroy anything like rattlesnakes, fishing line and hooks or “passion peelings” that may hurt them.

I once saw a bull frog that looked like he had swallowed a “love peeling”, but it turned out to be the way he was made - he was just sounding off.


Ruth said...

I would have marked "funny" in my reactions in the way you told the story. But it is serious and the love peelings posed a potential risk to everyone, human and otherwise.

mountain.mama said...

The worst offender I found in the woods was a dirty diaper. I mean, really, people, really? We hiked with our babies and I always packed the diapers out. Trash is a pet peeve of mine.

Robert Mortensen said...

Hilariously written Bill and point well made! I should not have been eating breakfast while reading it though because I lost my appetite.

"Love peelings" are often found during my backwoods birding adventures....along with discarded underclothing. I once caught a pair of plumageless homosapien bipeds in the act of mating while birding along a river in Mesa, AZ.

Sunny said...

Your humorous style of writing makes me laugh even about trash!
I have never heard that term before, guess you're never too old to learn something new!
Enjoy the day.
Sunny :)

Janie said...

Ewww. Makes me cringe to think of kids finding these "peelings." Amazing that people would just ditch this stuff. Better than not using them and spreading their thoughtless DNA, though.
Well-written article! I hope it is/was read by those who needed to hear it the most.

Alix said...

Hi Bill! Greetings from Casa Hice!

Thank you so much for wandering over to my humble little blog and leaving such a nice comment. I'm not going to lie... that always thrills me.

Looking forward to getting better acquainted, so I'm subscribing as a Follower immediately.

Hoping to see you back at Casa Hice again soon!

♥ Alix

Jan's Place USA and Mt Forest Pictures said...

We had something similar happen.. in our case it was some very raunchy magazines that were left on the trail..my 4 and 90 year old found ...disgusting!

Jan's Place USA and Mt Forest Pictures said...

oops, 9 year old..not 90 year old!!!

LauraHinNJ said...

I'd not ever heard them referred to that way!

Mostly I think we might be glad that such young lovers are being responsible (almost) and that they're choosing a beautiful location for their... um... well, you know.

I'd not want to be the parent to have to explain that find by the kids though, you're right.

This Is My Blog - fishing guy said...

Bill: I make a real effort to clean up around the dock and never leave line in the water. I always throw it in the garbage can.

sunnymama said...

Love your humorous take on a serious subject. Never heard the term 'love peelings' before, and fortunately haven't come across any while out with Sunnyboy (yet). How hard can it be to dispose of rubbish (of whatever kind) appropriately?!

troutbirder said...


Kilauea Poetry said...

I'm sort of glad I came back for this read..(must of been prompted)I started laughing the minute I got to the word balloon! Course I gathered myself together to make sure it was! You know, you'd just like to ring someones neck! Some of these knuckle heads have left anything from a mattress or box spring along our road -to large full bags of trash including way up in the mountains or the beach..cuts no ice! It's simply a violation. Good thing you didn't have to buy another motor!